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Final Version Errata — 16 Comments

  1. I don’t think anyone except us ex-Ottumwans and those still living there will pick up on this, but I think the Courier was (and I think still is) on Second Street – page 37 – last line before last paragraph.

    — Mary A. (former Ottumwan)

  2. Page 65 2nd paragraph from bottom. “Haf-lifers”
    should be “Half Lifers”

    Page 84 3rd paragraph. Jami I think the Canteen is in an alley off of Market Street. The alley also used to go up to Second Street. Not sure how it’s set up now tho’.

    Mary A. (former Ottumwan)

  3. I think I’ve covered everything for the first hundred pages. One last comment, which may have been missed because of the breaking it up into sections – on page 111 you have a description of the Mars Hill Church as though this is the first time it was spoken of. However, you had previously introduced us to it earlier in the book (don’t have a page for you – sorry). Just thought you might want to know. Good luck with your final formatting. — Mary

  4. Good point, Mary. I will check that out. Meanwhile, on Pg 222, two Qs for you grammar gals:
    1) line 5 after infinity symbol, in every case when someone speaks with attribution, should there be a comma? Lena said, tapping the air…
    2) same page, line 11 (after infinity) Lena has talked of the Pleiadian star badge. If this wasn’t a question mark, I would have used … to indicate she keeps talking. Because if you read that para, Niki tunes her out while thinking of her hunk, Koteen. When you read that para, is it all clear enough? No one has ever complained, but just wondering.

  5. okay I am ready to address the “Native American” issue in AKS. Good catch, Mo, that I should not have been using that term in 1982. I think it happened in writing as I tried to differentiate East Indian (which I use a lot in the second half of the story) from American Indian. Now, I see that would be the correct distinction: American Indian or East Indian, and in some cases I changed it altogether. (Example: to Guatemalan, later in the story.) There were about ten instances of the NA word and I have changed them as follows:

    First NA reference is on page 127

    “Kachina dancer,” the dark-haired, dark-skinned boy replied, frowned and added, “never seen one?”
    “No, I’m just passing through this area for the first time,” Niki explained.
    “Maybe you should stop at Sky City. Acoma Reservation. On your way on I-40 heading west,” he spoke in a halting, kind of broken English. “Favorite for tourists and locals,” he concluded.

    In this first NA ref, changed to “dark-skinned boy” because she doesn’t REALLY know yet. After all in Iowa “Indians” were lighter skinned French Indians.

    130 American Indian culture
    134 same
    137 Indian once and then changed sentence to:
    “The Grand Canyon was one of the most sacred spots for the original Americans, she’d been told,and it was only about sixty miles—”

    138 NA changed to “A real Indian guide—”

    166 NA changed to “an American Indian drumming tape”
    171 NA changed to American Indians

    184 NA changed to American Indian culture

    220 Native American to American Indian

    38 references to “Indian” with American, East, wild, or some modifier… a few just plain Indian now, and ALL are capped. There was just the one typo where it was l/c. (I’ll have more to say on that when all this is OVER!)

    302 NA practices to native practices, since that was part of the Guatemalan reference.

  6. STOP! Delete all of this. ALL of it! Why would you want this in your blog? This is bad PR! I’m calling you. Delete ALL including this comment!

  7. Well, I did not delete all or any of the Errata or comments. There are more but I was too exhausted from the corrections to further document the changes. I spent 10 hours the last day alone editing before sending off the eBook file (and it’s still not back from conversion.) it’s the artwork. Unclear how much of my 50 sketches can survive the eBook conversion process. I’ll be yelling from the roof tops (or is that rooftops) when it’s available thru Kindle, iBook and other formats.

  8. Just for the record, and to maintain the Errata, Dickhead Frank B has sent the following findings, discovered AFTER the eBook release:

    pg. 2 – last line: “she was in still in college” (take out first “in”) NOTE: on PAGE TWO! OMG! and I verified it has been there since FDO version!

    pg. 31 – 4th full paragraph: “now that tears that had formed in her eyes” (take out second “that”)
    p. 45 – 4th line from bottom: “Pete smiled at his paraphrased quote from one of best clients” (insert “his” or “their” between “of” and “best”)
    NOTE: this is a new error caused by me while rewriting parts of the text. ALL the other word omissions were in the FDO and NOT previously discovered. AMAZING!!
    p. 49 – 4th line from bottom: “could hear the buzzing sound in her ear.” (insert “was” between “hear” and “the”)
    p. 52 – 6th and 10th line from top: Valis and VALIS. (First one should be all caps)
    p. 63 – 7th paragraph down: “This is as good as time as any to confront Remke…” second “as” shold be “a”)
    p. 94 – lines 7 & 8: “It seemed as if she been there” (insert “had” between “she” and “been”)
    pg. 126: first line in 3rd paragraph – “the scenery become more” – “become” is wrong verb tense; should be “became”
    pg. 130: start of 2nd paragraph – should capitalize “constantly”
    NOTE: That is not a new sentence. The word “constantly” follows a colon. However, the formatting is wrong which makes the the word appear to be a new paragraph. So, it still requires a correction.

    pg. 136: lines 9 and 13 – “Valis” and “VALIS” – lack of consistency for VALIS, a book title
    NOTE: Actually, that instance of “Valis” is not a book title. At this point, Niki does not know what “valis” is and even says so. In other parts of the novel, when PKD refers to it, or once it becomes known, then yes, always VALIS — capped and italicized.

    pg. 165: 4th paragraph – “were on the Harvard Mall” – change “on” to either “at” or “in”
    pg. 172: line 7 from top – “she had encountering” – “encountering” should be “encountered”
    pg. 184: 2nd line from bottom – “It was first time” – insert “the” between “was” and “first”
    pg. 186: 4th line from botton – “course beard” – don’t you mean to say “coarse”?
    pg. 192: 3rd paragraph – change comma after “answer” to period, and capitalize “They”
    pg. 193: 4th paragraph – “wondered what all had infiltrated” – take out word “all”
    pg. 193: lines 3 and 12 from bottom – “baba” should be capitalized for consistency; capitalized elsewhere in novel.

    NOTE: Unclear on use of this term. It is the same as using a title, say King. King Arthur is capitalized. If one simply says, the king, then should it also be capitalized? King is a poor example, as it is probably always capitalized. The baba? perhaps… I will investigate 😉

    I will also post Frank’s final findings from Section III. With this, the book really should be “tight.” Finally!

  9. What I found in the last section:

    p. 215: 7th line from bottom – “Lena was at a total loss for what to do” – “for” should be “about” (perhaps this is just British vs American “english”??)
    p. 231: 6th paragraph down – “Niki didn’t care of he” – “of” should be “if”
    p. 253: 8th line from bottom – “he got one and place” – “place” should be “placed”
    p. 263: 3rd line from bottom – “get check out materials” – remove “get”
    p. 290: 3rd paragraph down – “I’m afraid I’m must” – “I’m” should be “I”
    p. 313: 3rd paragraph down – “Niki said assured them” – remove “said”
    p. 324: 3rd line from top – “glanced at a postcard, stuck her visor” – insert “to” between “stuck” and “her”

    That, that’s all folks!!! Found more than I thought I would. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. yours in kipple, fcb

  10. Frank found over 20 errors… about seven in each section. He says “not good”, but I’m actually thrilled because with his final fine-tooth combing, I feel really confident going into my awards competition for July (2011.) Frank C. Bertrand, aka “the gadfly of PKD criticism,” IS an excellent copy editor. I can HIGHLY recommend him as he launches his new endeavor. I will sing his praises on Facebook and street corners next.

  11. Really unbelievable — while I was making Frank’s corrections (above) I found two more misspellings and two grammar/punctuation errors. I also changed sentence structure in a couple of places on some of the very last pages. I certainly hope “this is it” for AKS changes. Good Grief!!

    Pg 26 (42 of the PDF) accentuating his high check bones. s/b cheekbones (correcting two things in one swoop)

    Pg 92 (twice), pg 228 (three times) and on the last page 328, lightening. s/b lightning HOW is that NO ONE ever noticed this?? Well, Guy did, right after I found them.

    Pg 152 (168) each others arms s/b each other’s (right or wrong?? Guy says other’s)

    Pg 303 (319) wiseman was a wise guy. S/b wise man was a wise guy.

    Finally, I changed the following sentence (s) dues to words in proximity (too much glancing and noticing):

    OLD: Niki glanced at a postcard she had kept in the Westfalia which looked almost exactly like Jake‘s place. An old adobe with the famous

    NEW: She noticed the postcard stuck in her visor, one that had been there since her first trip through Albuquerque. It looked almost exactly like Jake’s place—an old adobe with the famous

    Still on page 324 I changed: She noticed his driveway and paths were lined with luminarias—

    NEW: The driveway and paths were lined with luminarias—

    and finally, still on page 324 I changed: Just like a postcard TO: Just like the postcard (to me that page is much better now.)

    Page 328 (344 of PDF) That’s what Niki’s dad was… TO: That is what Niki’s dad was trying to convey.

    and this sentence: Phil and Pike finally understood—although they had to die to do it. Peace and love—

    NEW: Phil and Pike finally understood this, although they had to die to do it. Peace and love—

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